It sounds so cute when I hear a female friend whisper into my ears......."He is my best friend and I'm falling in love with him" some go with the common line...."We were best friends before he proposed to me" Now, viewing this development of friends cum lovers, there's no best way to propose love without first being friends. And of cause the reverse is the case with some couples. You hear their story "We met and few days after we got engaged" or "We knew we were meant for each other at first sight and days later he proposed" (come to think of it, do you believe in love at first sight?) maybe 2 in a 100 engaged couple falls in this category. Seriously! I used to be a big fan of "Love at first sight" back then in high school when your first love often remains a crush untold................. but in reality how does that work.
Did it sound awkward when you thought of getting married to your best friend of the opposite sex? Your best friend knows a whole lot about you, both the good and bad sides. You can easily identify him in the darkest night, single out his voice even when a thousand people are speaking at the same time. Even some get so close to knowing the smell of you even without you wearing any cologne. Best friends cum Lovers has lots of goodies attached to it, same is the story of my beautiful client Olamide and Eddy.
Olamide has been a family friend right from my childhood. When she called to tell me she would be getting married, I became even more exited when I discovered I would be planning the show piece. I felt so graced not just because of the theme the wedding is bound to carry. Olamide a Yoruba lady whose root can be traced back to Ijesha in Osun state Nigeria. Is getting married to her hubby and long time friend Edet from the traditional city of Calabar. I love weddings yet I love it more when it is tasking by being intra cultural, you have lots to play with, more notes to take and consciousness of not bridging the cultural heritage of each backgrounds. I personally look forward to the traditional marriage cause that is when we tend to explore more of the wedding theme.
Thursday 22nd of August 2013 was a memorable date in my calender, the celebration took us through the proper Yoruba engagement ceremony, welcoming of guest, family introduction, greetings, dance, music and display of heritage followed by change of attires by the couple, musicals and dance entertainment by the calabar dance troupe. It was indeed a sight to behold when the bride appeared in her adorable calabar traditional regalia. Eddy did have some pretty nice moves on the dance floor. It soon became fun for the two to show us "who sabi dance pass"
Truly getting married to a long time friend has lots to be celebrated as both parties have a number of common friends to cheer them up, the wedding was so glamorous, complemented with the ambiance of the hall decor and level of organization.
Come to think of it, there are quite a number of benefits attached to getting married to an old time friend, few of which are discussed below:
Firstly KNOWING THE PAST; the two parties knows each other to a large extent, not just as intending couples but as best friends. I stand to be corrected; true friends are open, share deeper thought and discuss issues,which brings them to a platform of sincere natural character and attitude. At some point in time they must have lived in some past and must have helped each other through the good and bad ex-relationships, the past in such cases secrets are limited.
Further more COMFORT ZONE; it doesn't take any extra process or what to get acquainted to your best friend cum husband, unlike when two people newly gets to meet each other, you know all about managing his/her mood, expressing your feelings and conscious of his/her emotional needs. More so each party knows the weak point of the other which complement. The nature of response they get when they fall victims of it.
Another inevitable benefit is NO ROOM FOR PRETENSE: Old friends are open about previous relationship to one another, they tend to remain themselves all the time, remember, they have nothing to lose in the first place, so it gives no room for pretense and falsified attitude. You will always be yourself with a man you take as a friend and this helps a lot in the new found love life.
There also is COMMUNICATION: many relationship break-up is based on poor communication. True friends always have something to to say to each other, topics to discuss, ideas to share and points to argue about. They are never left blank, they know when best to pass out sensitive information. Friendship before marriage gives the platform for communication without fear of gender, age, status and stakes.
Finally CHALLENGES; getting married to a best friend is quite tasking and challenging, but it is a familiar institution except the fact that there is more call for affection and romance, like it's always being said "a known devil is better than an unknown angel" histories of events could always be handled matured and with confidence, so also the the intrusion of families and friends could be adequately managed as both parties expects no surprises.
INTERVIEWS
Question: what is your view on getting married to your best friend?
Response: it envisage an open relationship, readily a part of the life of his/partner.
Response: it is the best thing ever, no surprises, like a popular saying........"No new things"
Response: wow!!! It's like getting married to my favorite sister, because she's all I am.
Over the years I have been caught up with being friends to hundreds of ladies, some are married now, others engaged, now stalked in the middle of non-single ladies, my high school crushes are also off the radar and that makes it more difficult to getting married to my old time friend, I guess I'll try to make a new friend. Keep her for a long while and expect the friendship cum lovers magic to fall on me *winks*
Hope you enjoyed reading through my diary of love, kindly find it welcomed to drop your comment and do help broadcast to your loved ones.
Regards,
Ajibola O. Richards
